Oh right, the list

November 9, 2009

Poor list… why did I even bother?
I’ve just abandoned you with complete disregard to how you might feel… but I’m back, like a good mom (the kind that has to be followed around by child services and has her babies taken away from her every once in a while).

I realize this was MONTHS ago, but I did it nonetheless:

#1. Go Swimming with Whale Sharks.
First of all, I don’t know why I started the list off with things SO ridiculous they didn’t seem quite possible. Fortunately I was able to fulfill #1, mostly because I just needed to cross something off. Also, it sounded AWESOME.
I went to a sharks’ house and followed it around for a little while before it ditched me.
Went to Mexico with the only real plan of swimming with whale sharks. We (Rob and I) went to Holbox, a small island off the northern coast of the Yucatan (Go there NOW!) stayed in an awesome beach front hotel, drank margaritas, ate seafood and swam in the warm gulf of Mexico and yeah… swam with whale sharks.
First we watch a video about the whale sharks that tells you the history of the whale shark in relation to the island, all for years of it. I won’t bore you with the details, but I am looking for a copy of it to settle a dispute I have with Rob about whether or not they call it the “Domino” shark (and I quote): “Like the pizza”. The video also shows you a wonderful video shot form below of divers and snorkelers alike floating around with what we know as the biggest fish in the sea. They play plinkety plunkety music while the swimmer and the shark whimsically twirl about each in a lovers embrace (take note of this for when I describe MY experience). Also- the brochure said there would be breakfast served before leaving; they served us cookies. Who eats cookies for breakfast!?!? Me. I ate them all.
Ok, we get on the boat. Me, Rob, a lesbian couple (or a set of unusually hairy lady friends), another young couple and a trio of older folks (2 ladies and rather large and tan gentleman). It’s a small boat considering, but who cares, the point isn’t to go on a boat, it’s to go swimming with whale sharks.
The boat takes off and we go at full speed for about an hour, hour and a half at which point we slow down and one of the 2 crew members hops up on to the canopy of the boat and starts looking for something to swim with, after about 30 minutes of this, we find one. A little one, it’s only about 20-25 feet long. We learned in the video that they grow to about 55 feet- this here with us, was puny.
Only 3 people are allowed in the water at one time with the animal as to not scare it away. First to go in are the young couple. We’re told that as soon as the boat gets as close as it can to the animal you have to jump in and start swimming as hard as you can. They jump in the the guy takes off and gets right up against the whale shark and keeps up with it for a little while, but the girl sort of freezes up and floats near the boat. “Ridiculous” I tell myself. “What a waste”.
Then it’s our turn. We get geared up and I’m sitting on the edge of the boat and suddenly it occurs to me. I HATE jumping into water, let alone in to the middle of the ocean. I realize this only in time to have the captain screaming “JUMP JUMP JUMP!!” and I manage to heave myself into the water. I hit the water and like a pro, take a deep breath as soon as i get in the water so I inhale a good lung full of tasty sea water, but I have to see this freaking animal so I swim like a crazy person while hacking up into my mask. I’m reluctant to put my face in the water, because when I do, I can see how big this whale shark actually is. 25 feet outside of the water looks pretty harmless. 25 feet in the water is unbelievably scary. Also- it’s a shark. Holy Shit.
I swim up along side it dipping my face in the water periodically to look at it before it takes off, nearly smacking me in the face with it’s giant tail.
All in all, it was a terrifying situation, but amazing and unforgettable anyway. I was satisfied.
While floating around waiting to see more wild life we came across a giant manta ray, about 12′ in wingspan. I didn’t get in the water with it, but the older couple (of the aforementioned trio) dove right in. It pooped on them. I was amused.

#32. Get a license
In relation to the whale shark story, I drove a golf cart while on Holbox island. It did not require any sort of driving experience. I only almost killed us once, because a fly landed on my leg.
The point is, is that I’m getting further and further from getting an actual drivers license as I have given up (expired) my learners permit and got myself a good ol’ NYS ID. Oh well. I’ll still work on the real thing I suppose.

#59. Go to Sian Ka’an, and do the Kayak tour in the morning
Also in Mexico, also done. Also: Beautiful.

#60. Visit my Dad
Dragged ass out to Cypress Hills. On the same day we were celebrating my birthday. Yeah, Happy Birthday. Why does my mom think this is ok?

#81. Find a nice scratching post
It’s not that nice, but it’s better than the old one and when I was getting it at the store it required the sales person quite a bit of distress and knocking a whole bunch of shit over to get it. I couldn’t just make him put it back.

In addition to my longest entry to date (I think) I’d like to add that, with the addition of these 5 finished items, I’ve only done a total of 26 items (2 of which I actually haven’t done (#32 and #48). That leaves me with 75 (77) items to actually do in the remaining 526 days.


It Was Just So Sad

March 3, 2009

2am, sometime in mid to late April 2006

I was sitting at my work station in a mostly deserted studio, my fingers stinging from the indentation made by the ex-acto knife I gripped. I was cutting rectangles, on after another, after another for a model I knew I would never finish. Not before presentation anyway. I kept cutting.


Still cutting the same damn rectangles, barely made any progress. An overwhelming feeling of fear, anger and frustration.


I could feel the tears rushing to my eyes, the knot in my throat would not go away. I stood up and ran out of the studio, down the hall and to the emergency exit. I sat in the frame of the door, in complete hysterics; sobbing. I couldn’t get a hold of myself. I hated being there, but I couldn’t leave. The more I held back from crying, the more tears came gushing out. I pulled on my hair and my sleeves, I held my head in my hands and cried.

I stopped for a moment to observe a tiny little mouse come crawling out from a crack in the wall. It was so small and cute, and walked out so gingerly as if to comfort me in a way, and it did. For about 30 seconds before it started to close it’s little eyes and gently fall over sideways. DEAD. At which point the tears returned at full force. I needed help, I called Kevin. Waking him up, and through uncontrollable sobs and an undecipherable story of how I killed a mouse, I convinced him to come pick me up.

When he got to the studio, he found me laying on the bench outside the bathroom, sniffling.

To make me feel better, he made a sandwich out of the mouse:

Mouse Sandwich

I’m just kidding, thats not my picture.

Peru, the less than desirable vacation spot

January 27, 2009

#50. Fly over Machu Picchu in a small plane or helicopter

As I have learned, flying over Machu Picchu is virtually impossible, due to the fact that it is nestled deep inside a mountain range and that there is fog, lots and lots of fog.

Instead, Kevin convinced me to climb aforementioned mountain range to get there. It was sweaty, cold, exhausting and filled with shit- in so many words…

If I recall correctly, the first two days of the hike were filled with donkey, cow and horse shit, and so much of it I was convinced the road was not really a dirt path as it was a shit path. The following day was mostly stone path, difficult terrain for donkeys, cows and horses- unfortunately it was my time to shine- if you catch my drift. If you don’t- I had the shits. BAD. On a mountain.

Enough with that, Machu Picchu was a special place, the hike was certainly not my first choice but the whole experience was incredible, and unforgettable. Minus the complaining and whining (and shitting in places I would not normally consider) it was exhilarating and worth every bad moment that lead up to it.

So, long story short- #50- done.

OH NO!!!

December 11, 2008

This was recently brought to my attention :
Something I knew about, but didn’t know was so dire. It just doesn’t seem like an endangered animal would become extinct in my life time, at least not something we all know and love. I’m sure all sorts of crazy species have become extinct and I’d never know about it because it’s something I’ve never heard of.
This make #55 that much more important to me.

I did some more things!

December 10, 2008

68. Find art to put on my walls

Art has been found (all by Rob, so I suppose this shouldn’t count), it has been put up, the apartment looks lived in.

72. Mount Medicine Cabinet

The world’s heaviest medicine cabinet made of metal and glass and almost as tall as I am. It was difficult, tiring and stressful, but totally worth it.

73. Find nice cheap towel bars

One word: IKEA.

84. Find a stand for Sarah’s soft tv

It’s not so much a stand as the over head storage in the living room. It fits perfectly, I love it.

87. Repaint

No wonder people hire other people to do this garbage work- it sucks. I hate painting. Thank god for Rae.

96. Get Insurance

I have personal insurance or whatever the hell this is called. I don’t actually know anything about it, in fact I received something in the mail about it- and i have yet to open it. All I know is I’m paying out the ass for it. If I don’t get you a present this year, think of it like this: I’ve purchased for you a portion of health insurance for myself, so in case I get hit by a car, get cancer or go blind of no apparent reason, GHI might be able to help me. It’s like I’ve bought a goat for a family in Cambodia… but it’s insurance, for a spoiled middle class white/asian chick. Isn’t that nice?

Wow- that was a terrible post, I’m sorry, you can call and berate me.

I’d like to do some things but…

November 17, 2008

I’ll need some money.

Spare some change? Anyone? Anyone?

Thinking about taking a month off of work… I wonder how that will pan out and if I can afford it. I suppose we’ll see. Anyone want to take me on a lovely trip?

Good Ideas Other People Should Do

October 28, 2008

Send a Ziplock bag full of chocolates to a loved one (or someone who might become a love interest). Make sure the chocolates get melty so when it gets there it looks like you sent them a bag of poop. Tape a note to the front that says “For my Sweetie”.

It’ll be great.

Successfully crossing off items… ok, maybe just one

October 23, 2008

#12- Find a recipe for the best pie crust

It’s an all butter crust, it’s extremely easy and extremely tasty, can be sweet or savory and can be made in bulk and stored in the freezer. I have a feeling this is going to be the beginning of a terrible friendship.

(to whoever it is that might read this… probably nobody: Come over and eat my pies! I can’t do it alone!)

#27- Get a gym membership

Let’s see, about 3 weeks ago I joined a gym… the YMCA to be specific, and since then, I’ve been once. I am in fact wearing clothes to wear to the gym… will I make it? Who knows.

#58- Buy a piece of furniture I LOVE

It’s a sectional, it’s green and it cost more than I cared to spend, but I like it a great deal… I don’t LOVE it, but until I buy myself a Saarinen Womb chair, it will fill the void. It’s coming on election day. That kind of excites me.

#69- Re-tile the moldy patch on Rob’s bathroom floor

Rob’s bathroom floor, which incidentally is also now MY bathroom floor. Either way its moot- the landlord came in and did it himself- it only took him 3 years to come and fix the problem. I certainly hope the toilet never breaks. Also, the idiot installed unglazed tiles, which will after time become gross and moldy because there is nothing sealing them. Fabulous. Also- they feel gross under my feet. FAIL.

Thats it. 4 measly items. Oh well, 87 to go in how many days?

FINALLY making some progress…

September 16, 2008

I’ve actually made a bit of a dent in the list- some of which I’ve photographed, some of which I have opted out of doing so.

Let’s see…

#8- Bike to New Jersey

It was the first thing I did- but I cheated. Rob and I biked to Wall Street where we snobbishly pushed our way on to the Sea Streak with out tickets (because he knew the brother of the Captain) and went out to Sandy Hook. We then biked along the beach to the Highlands- at which point we hopped back on a boat back to Wall Street and then took the Ikea boat over to Red Hook- then biked home from there. It totaled up to about 15+ miles, about 8 of which was along the beach going AGAINST the wind, which really drained me, not to mention riding in the sun with no shade, and the protection of a little flimsy dress.

I would still like to bike along the appropriate bridges and get there solely on the bike… but first I need to get in better shape, because those 15 miles really killed me.

#10- Get a hair cut

I got a hair cut- nothing exciting, Ashley did it, she really just chopped into my hair (which is really hard to mess up, there’s just so damn much of it). I cut my own bangs, but this was a month ago (exactly…) and it’s already seems to have grown out.

#15- Buy Larry a Present

Well- this was less of a thoughtful gift, and more of a happy coincidence. I bought a belt for Rob a few months ago, and I bought a large size, assuming it would fit him on a tighter loop, but alas, it was REALLY big. Fortunately, Larry is significantly bigger than Rob, so I had the belt passed along to him. Like #8 I feel like I cheated and I should really do it right. I mean really, it’s not THAT hard. So… what do you buy your boyfriend’s 50+ uncle?

#29- Get rid of 10 items in my closet

HA! That one I did and I did it 10 fold! Before the move, I emptied out my closet and got rid of several large bags worth of stuff I hung on to for no reason. Things that I’m just too fat for, but kept in the hopes of getting Malaria and suddenly dropping 20 pounds, or things that are ugly that I thought were pretty in High school or even things I bought and never wore… I’m a compulsive shopper. So, I still have even more things to get rid of, I think I might have my own little stoop sale this Saturday and try to sell the rest of it.

#48- Go to Egypt

Well, I didn’t go to Egypt, but I did go to New Egypt- which is a weird little trailer town in Jersey which is essentially a giant flea market- I’m serious, it’s bizzare. They sell mostly crap no one would ever want, not even for the low low prices they offer them for… it’s the kind of place that the Price is Right would come to buy half a car and a dingy old dining set. I didn’t buy anything, but I did get a sweet picture of the creepiest candle in the world… I’d imagine lighting the candle would conjure up souls from the past… I’ll post the pic when I get home.

As for really going to Egypt- thats coming up, just not any time in the next year.

#62- Paint my toenails a color other than gold

They’re a reddish black. It’s a big deal- I’ve been getting them painted gold since I was 16…

#78.79- Buy a big TV, Mount the big TV

Done and done. It’s awesome.

#82- Buy shoes to wear to Maja’s wedding

I ended up wearing a pair of shoes I’ve owned for 6 years- well, I wore them for about 2 hours, then gave up and walked around barefoot.

#86- Reconfigure the Trash System

I did- though not terribly pleased with it- updates soon to come.

#90- Finish the Freelance job

“Abandoned” is more the word to describe the end to that job- It’s going to be a long time before I want to do freelance again. My clients were ass holes- to the n’th degree. I got paid for most of it- which is fine. I’d rather just leave it at that.

which brings me to #91- Brunch at Barmarche

Barmarche WAS the freelance job- and judging by the terribly unprofessional “resolution” I don’t plan on being there any time soon. Oh well, I’ll just have to avoid that part of Soho for the rest of my life… thats cool, NY is big… I’m sure I’ll never see those people ever again… right? UGH. TERRIBLE.

So, 10 down, 91 to go… and of course re-doing some of the first 10…

101 things to do in 1001 days

July 24, 2008

So recently I became privy to the fact that a friend of mine, Emily started a blog, on a site that specializes in exactly what the title of this post is: 101 things to do in 1001 days. I decided to do one as well. I figured if I posted it online, then I would be forced to actually do those items, rather than let the list get buried under a pile of crap.

So here it is:

1. Go Swimming with Whale Sharks
2. Go Great White Shark watching in South Africa
3. See a Narwhal (alive- preferably in nature)
4. Buy fresh spices at a Market in Morocco
5. Learn how to sail
6. Quit my Job
7. Kayak in the Gowanus
8. Bike to New Jersey
9. Do a Handstand – not against the wall
10. Get a haircut
11. Bake a successful Blueberry pie
12. Find a recipe for the best pie crust
13. Improve my hand writing
14. Groom Rocket
15. Buy a Present for Larry
16. Write a short story
17. Write a Novel
18. Make a dress (make several!)
19. Get over my fear of snakes
20. Buy a good vacuum cleaner
21. Go to a roof top movie
22. Read a book about business management
23. Install a kitchen faucet with a side sprayer
24. Get good quality prints of my photos
25. Scrap book my photos
26. Use my mother’s manual camera
27. Get a membership to the gym
28. See the Southern end of Japan (also Okinawa)
29. Get rid of 10 items in my closet

30. Take the Westfalia for a camping trip with Rob
31. Learn how to drive (for reals)
32. Get a license
33. Save $3000
34. Do the birth right trip to Israel (if they let me)
35. Open a bar
36. Shoot a revolver
37. Learn Spanish
38. Finish learning Italian
39. Find my David Bowie CD collection – and listen to the whole thing
40. Get a tattoo of the family crest
41. Convince my brother to do the same
42. Visit Nubar
43. Go to the Moma (again)
44. Eat fresh raw fish off of a fishing boat in Japan
45. Send a post card to my aunt
46. Make large prints of my favorite photographs
47. Smoke a joint in the park
48. Go to Egypt
49. Go to Prague
50. Fly over Machu pichu in a small plane or helicopter
51. Find and buy an old display model boat (the one that is a section cut down the middle)
52. Try Pig’s testicles in Astoria
53. Try Horse Sashimi in Asakusa
54. Do a Spa day with my mom
55. Hug a Koala
56. Meet Obama
57. Go to the Rainbow room
58. Buy a piece of furniture I LOVE
59. Go to Sian Ka’an again, and take the kayak tour in the morning
60. Visit my Dad
61. Go to a party at the Adventurers Club
62. Paint my toe nails a color other than gold
63. Donate money to a Cancer research charity
64. Buy a farm animal for a poor family in a third world country
65. Climb Mount Fuji
66. Make Lobster Bisque
67. Bring a lunch to work everyday for a month
68. Find art to put on my walls
69. Re-tile the moldy patch in Rob’s bathroom floor
70. Race Go-Karts with my friends
71. Go to Brothers Island
72. Mount the Medicine cabinet
73. Find nice/ cheap towel bars
74. Get some dried lavender for the bathroom
75. Find a pretty plant to hang in front of the living room windows
76. Install window boxes in the living room windows
77. Plant usable herbs in the window boxes
78. Buy a big TV
79. Mount the big TV
80. Buy the cone shaped dustbuster
81. Find a nice cat scratching post
82. Buy shoes to go with the dress for Maja’s wedding
83. Plan another field day- this time be involved!
84. Find a stand for Sarah’s soft TV
85. Make a shelf to go on top of the fridge
86. Reconfigure trash system
87. Repaint
88. Make a new shelf for under the sink
89. Build a cover for shut off valves in bathroom
90. Finish my freelance job
91. Get Brunch at Barmarche
92. Ride my bike out to Brighton Beach and buy yummy Russian food
93. Go swimming in a private pool
94. Make the bathroom door function better
95. Go to the Dentist
96. Get Insurance
97. Buy a real pearl necklace
98. Mount an L shaped shelf on the brick wall
99. Donate all of my old winter coats to charity this December
100. Adjust the frames to fit the posters exactly
101. Find a sweet Piggy Bank on Craigslist

Some of these are very realistic things I HAVE to do, some are little less attainable, but not any less important to me. The list might get a slow start, but I will definitely do EVERY LAST ITEM on this list.

So I guess I’ll take a deep breath, and start somewhere in the middle…